My Sentiment

2009-04-21T00:53:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time since I've blog.

So much has happened in my life in a short span of time.

To cut the long story short, let's just say that I've been a very bad.. bad girl.

Sometimes when I stared at the reflection in the mirror. I couldn't believe that the girl in the reflection was me.

My bestfriend said that I've changed in a bad way. Another friend said that I've changed for good.

Sometimes I wonder, am I a child of God? Or the devil's child?

I don't blame my job for ruining me. It can be avoided.

I guessed this will be a lesson learnt.

2009-03-14T22:03:00.003+08:00

Why am I doing something that I was against?

Achievers Nite

2009-01-27T23:26:00.007+08:00

It's been a long time since I dolled myself up for an occasion until two Saturdays ago. When I meant doll myself up, I meant fully accessorize myself. I even got a haircut and styled it, you can check it out at my facebook. Sorry, I do like posting pictures on my blog.

It was my company's annual dinner slash achievers nite. It felt like the Golden Globes Awards where there's an award show going on while dinner was served. My mom drove her white wira to Summit Hotel as early as 6.00pm at the footstep of the hotel. I spotted a group of people wearing the colour purple, green and blue and realised that it was my colleagues from different branches in Malaysia.

The entire setting looked as if it were a set of a red carpet scene. The only thing that was missing was screaming fans, photographers and paparazzis. As I walked in the hotel lobby, one of my colleague recognised me and called me a "Bizzy Body Ambassador". It was a campaign that we've been doing during that time. It was no surprise that everyone of my colleagues looked like movie stars either.

We gathered at the lobby and took plenty pictures before proceeding to the ballroom where the award show and dinner was served. The event started by awarding the newly promoted managers and owners. To my delight dinner was served after that and as usual it was a seven course dinner. I usually eat a seven course dinner during weddings and it wasn't surprising that most of my Malay colleagues are not familiar with using chopsticks.

While most of my colleagues were busy munching on their food the awards kept going and lucky draws were also given out. Too bad my luck wasn't good. They also had lots of games to keep us entertain and one of my favourite game was guessing the theme song for movies and tv shows. Too bad I didn't participate.

My favourite part was the dancing session. They hired local club singers singing retro songs and thank god I'm a loyal listener of Mix FM. Never in my life I've danced in public with a group of people. I'm amazed at the amount of talented dancers in my company and they even taught me a move or two. They probably practiced a lot during clubbing unlike me. But on that night itself I've discovered a new talent in me. I can now boogie!

They end it with a last round of lucky draw and a new year countdown. I had a lot of fun and the pictures can be found at my facebook.

Kuantan & Work

2009-01-13T22:31:00.015+08:00

My trip to Kuantan was a real eye-opener. I signed up for a road trip to Kuantan for work, hoping to gain some experience and on top of that, it was my first time to Kuantan. Kuantan is a crockcroach infested and ulu town! The hotel that I lived in for the first two nights were infested with crockcroaches and my colleague and I screamed our lungs out when we saw the crockroaches. On the second day, 7 crockroaches invaded our room and I got a guy colleague of mine who was still in his half-naked mode to kill all the crockroaches including an albino crockroach.

We switched hotels the next following morning to a cheap and old hotel. But, it was located at a red zone area, meaning it is where all the hookers appear at night. One thing I realised about Kuantan or anywhere in East-Coast of Malaysia is that they do not speak English. So, I ended up speaking Malay and my cacat Cantonese. The only people that I spoke English with are my colleagues. We came in a team of six people and my leader is a Filipino and I ended up being her personal translator.

In Kuantan the public transport is worst compared to KL. It is very rare to get a cab and even if you did they never used a metre and they will charge you for a price of RM10.00. There are plenty of buses but you have to wait for hours for the bus to arrive. At night, after giving up waiting for the bus we walked back to our hotel for more than one kilometre. Thank God for the beautiful weather at night, the cool breeze was so soothing that it did not tire us down while walking. It is times like this that we should appreciate the public transports in KL. The one mistake we made was that we should have drove to Kuantan instead of boarding a bus. On the bright side, I know Kuantan quite well now thanks to all the walking I did from one street to another.

I am proud to say that KL has one of the most happening nightlife in Malaysia. I do not club but I know that Bangsar is the most happening place to hang out and club. In Kuantan they only have bars and pubs playing dangdut songs. In Chow Kit KL, the have better choices of hookers but in Kuantan the hookers were all Malays ranging from young to old. That was my first encountered with a hooker up close and personal and they were all really friendly and down to earth. My colleagues and I managed to drop our cards to them at night when we had a slow day. It was also my first time watching how a guy picks up a girl and brings her to a room. Later on I saw the girl holding RM20.00 bucks in her hand and realised that it was too cheap. I bet they charged more in KL. Haha.. I have to be extra careful while walking back to my hotel at night for fear that I might be mistaken as one of them since I lived in their area.

You must be wondering what work do I do at Kuantan. Well, I basically do the exact thing as I did in KL. Selling RM29.90 and RM25.00 cards, the only difference is that I am promoting their local brands. My team leader will allocate each one of us to a designated area in Kuantan to do our pitching. It was one of the most weird but yet interesting experience I ever had. One of my manager in KL even gave me a goal that if I can sell the cards within a certain amount he will promote me to become a leader. But unfortunately, I did not meet my goal but I have learned a lot from that experience and I am now applying it back in KL.

This job is not entirely my dream job but I dare say that I enjoy it. The fact that I can travel and be an instant manager stirs up my interest in this job. I can also feel the passion burning inside of me when I do this job. I certainly did not made a mistake when I applied for this job and I will keep on pushing myself until I succeed. My long term goal was to be successful before the age of 30. I will try to garner and learned as much I could before I make it. God bless me!

Goodbye 2008. Hello 2009

2009-01-01T14:33:00.010+08:00

Last year was the most challenging year of my life.

I got heartbroken TWICE

I almost lost my job

I quit my job

And I've been unemployed for three months

Last year was the year of empowerment in my church and this was what I asked God for and hope to achieve.

Year of Empowerment

1) To have a transition in my job. Seriously, I’m not going to do administrative work for the rest of my life. I was hoping for a tiny promotion and move on to an executive or coordinator level but I’ll wait and see. I’ve been working damn hard for this bloody company for two years and something good have to come.

2) To travel to Canada for my personal Lex Luthor who is also my cousin’s graduation. Despite living in a different time zone, he’s been there for me listening to all my struggles and giving me some encouragement. You should have seen us when we’re young we’re like twins and we’re inseparable. Hence our birthdays are two days apart.

3) To have the courage to share the gospel. If you noticed, I’ve been selfish lately trying to meet my personal needs. But what about God’s? I pray that someone would bring up the topic about God and life and share with them.

4) To seek and pray to God more often. The reason why my prayers were never answered was probably because I was too lazy to seek Him, especially His word. I really want Him to speak to me and tell me where my life is heading instead of thinking I was useless and hopeless. He said that we’re not a mistake. So, I’ll wait and see how He works in my life throughout the year 2008.

The ones I crossed are the ones that I've achieved and God has answered.

1) Although, I didn't get a promotion in my previous job but I believe I resign with a good reason and purpose. Despite being unemployed for three months I finally found a job at the very last minute and everything has been well with the new job so far. Who would've thought that Abigail Russel can do sales and marketing? Not to forget that I'm not a degree holder.

2) The problem was because I didn't save enough money to travel to the other side of the world. I even told my online friends that I'll be dropping by to visit them. But God has been wonderful, he continued blessing me and last year was my first time stepping out of the border of Malaysia to Thailand. I went for a four days trip to Hatyai, Thailand.

3) Coincidentally, my church had a Spiritual Parenting seminar on how to share the gospel to pre-believers and during our Love Is In The Air Christmas Party I managed to share the gospel (SALTING) with a guest. I'm glad I get to share the gospel to someone before the year ended.

4) I prayed like I've never prayed before and I read the Bible for once. One night I actually laid a Bible a novel side by side and wondered which book to read first. If you're wondering the novel was one of the popular Twilight series. Evidently, I chose the Bible.

To the two guys that broke my heart which I doubt they knew the existence of my blog, I wish you all the best in your future and thanks for being the inspiration of my poems.

As for this year, here's what I hope to achieve and for God to answer.

Year of Positioning

1) To be able to control my anger which resolves all my swearing.

2) To excel in my current job and earn more $$$ so that I could afford to pay my bills and expenditures.

3) This one is a bit tricky. I told the boys in cell that I wanted to find a husband this year and one of them said "Who wants to get married at the age of 23? People usually get married at 27." What I meant was that I want to find a guy that will ultimately be my future husband. I don't want an off and on relationship like most youngsters seems to be doing nowadays.

4) If I've been greatly blessed with more $$$, I'll try to pursue a degree.

5) Try to share the gospel to more people this year. Including my friends.

I strongly believe that all five will be achieve by the end of the year. Especially the third one.

BLESSED NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

Thankful

2008-12-18T02:19:00.010+08:00

I have been bumming around for three months without a job and the thought of not having money in my pocket let alone in my bank sucks! I always told myself that if I ever get a chance to be free I would try something new and I managed to try and learn something new. I attempted to improve my cooking skills but there was once where I almost burned my kitchen. I also self taught myself how to play the guitar. No thanks to the boys in my cell and the men in my house. If I'm not mistaken I roughly know eight chords.

But being stranded at home makes me lazy as I often wake up late. It is also affecting my health. I have been having the longest headache and migraine which is probably caused by irregular sleeping pattern and lack of exercise. I realised that doing house chores is not enough exercise if you get what I mean.

Having too much time also gives me the oppurtunity to hang out with my friends but it sucks when I am broke. The fact that I am broke hinders me from meeting them often and my mom always quote this from the bible "if you don't work; you don't eat." That word became a reality when I am unemployed.

I never regretted resigning from my previous job because I knew that it was not my calling. I knew that something out there was meant for me, something I am capable of doing. So I went on a quest to search for it. I have failed many times but I kept on searching. There was a time where I felt like giving up but I pressed on.

I have tried everything from a copywriter, journalist, retailer, secretary, admin assistant and advertising executive. But lo and behold out of the six type of career paths I have tried I ended up as an advertising executive. I went for two consecutive interviews for it and aced it! I did not know why I deserve it because I was less qualified for this job compared to the other jobs which I have applied. I will post the two interviews in my next post.

Nevertheless, I should be thankful and all glory goes to God!!!

Lonely

2008-12-10T01:56:00.006+08:00

I realised that I do not enjoy being in a company of friends. Having too many friends is quite a stress. Even with friends, I do feel lonely. Probably it is because I do not live the life that they lived. From the day I was born, I always liked being alone and shy away from the world. It is where I find my place of solitude. I think too much and had a wild imagination. I never hated that life I was in.

Now that I have multitude of friends, everything has changed. Friends can be a pain if you know what I mean. Gossips, quarrels, back stabbers, slanders and so much more. I hate being caught up between two friends who asked me to pick a side. Let me be clear, I never chose a side and I am always neutral. Maybe that was why most people gave me some kind of level of respect. I am known as a very nice and kind person to most people, but I hated the fact that they used me and once I helped them they pushed me aside as if I am some kind of toy to them.

The only friends that I managed to keep in touch with since the day I first met them, are like treasures to me and I will always keep them. It is because I am neutral, I get the opportunity to see a different side of each individual. I know for a fact that most girls are the best actress in the world. The can appear so innocent to certain people and yet bitchy behind their backs. Seriously, and most guys tend to fall for girls like that. Because I am so neutral that even if I liked a friend's boyfriend they do not even realised it, it is either I am one heck of a good actress or they are really blind.

I admit I can be a two-faced person at times but at least I do not gossip or slander about a person. This is the reason why I liked being alone in my own solitude. I like being stranded in an island of my own where there is only God and I. It is as if I was born for this life that God has prepared for me since the day I was born. So, if you ever spot me being alone and emo do not interject my peace. I like the way it is.

Finders Keepers

2008-12-04T18:19:00.009+08:00

I found You first
Or rather You found me
We were once lost
But we were reconciled back again
Maybe fate brought us together
Or maybe it was just a coincidence

But whatever it was
You brought joy to my heart
Even when I’m having the worst day of my life
I prayed daily hoping you’d call
Or drop me a message

You never change since the day You left
You’re still the same old You
I should give You an extra credit for that
For Your consistency

I dare say that You are the only one
That accepted me for who I was
Beautiful or ugly
Timid or bold
Bright or foolish
I can tell that you liked every inch of me

You also trusted me wholeheartedly
In whatever situation we got ourselves into
You never once broke Your promise
You were always there to lend me a hand
When I’m in trouble

You don’t get to play a hero
When You’re around me
Because You know that
I never needed one
I’m independent, tougher and stronger
Than anyone You know

I thanked God for You
For bringing You into my life
It was not a coincidence nor
A mistake that we found each other
I used to believe that

It was until You’ve changed
Someone stole You from me
It’s unfair, because we found each other first
What happen to finders’ keepers?
It takes years to build a relationship
It doesn’t happen in a blink of an eye
You’re only fooling yourself
By living in a fairytale

You used to be someone full of joy, passion and energy
What happened to You?
You looked haggard like an old man
Your frown has turn upside down
You have a sudden hatred towards people nowadays
Has that person changed You?
Is that person dictating Your life?

I can’t believe that You still want me in Your life
Do You think I can stand watching both of You?
Putting on a show of a perfect life?
When are You going to stop lying to Yourself?
You know that You’re only hurting Yourself
When was the last time I actually hurt You?
Think about it, dear
Maybe it was a mistake after all
That we found each other
It’ll do nothing, but hurt me

Sometimes I wonder why does God allowed such suffering?
I prayed at night, asking God to grant me someone
Someone tenfold better than You
Till the day comes
I’ll show You what love is
Love is not a show or a movie
That You can display publicly
It comes from Your heart
And money will never buy it
Trust me dear
But nevertheless, I’ll always be Your best friend

I do not get Him?

2008-11-25T18:40:00.005+08:00

When I thought everything supposedly went well, it went downhill. I do not get Him? Is He that jealous? Does He get jealous when I do not talk to Him or think about Him? Honestly, I might not talk to Him as often as I should but I do think about Him. I think about Him when I wake up in the morning, eat, drive, cook, do the laundry and also when I sleep.

I am always trying to unlock the mystery in His mind but everyone knows that its humanly impossible. He even left clues for me to understand but my pea size brain will never get it. I feel like having dyslexia, slow and confuse by His words. I could never comprehend it. Did I miss something? Or better still have I done anything wrong?

I have tried doing the right thing because my conscience told me so but I feel like I have been punished for it. Everything good deed was never appreciated and being flushed down in the drain. My blessings became curses. What did I do to deserve this life?

Should I raise the white flag and give up? Or should I give it another chance?

SPM

2008-11-13T23:59:00.015+08:00

Tis' the season of SPM!

Have you ever had a dream where God manipulates your dreams to remind or warn you about something? Well, I'd experienced it. Few days ago, the night before the SPM examinations commenced, I dreamt that I was in my turquoise uniform preparing for my SPM. I walked in the exact gate that I usually walk in and saw my friends waiting for me in the canteen. I was experiencing a sense of déjà vu in my dream and wondered why do I have to go through this again. When I woke up, I realised that I've not collect my SPM certificate yet since I completed schooling at the year 2003.

On the previous week I dreamt about going for an interview and I have not printed my resume yet. It was also another reminder and on the next following day, I got it all printed out.

The reason why I did not collect my SPM certificate when it was ready was because I'm afraid that I might cross path with some teachers. Truth to be told, I was a very problematic student when I was in school. I 'm the type of student that does not finish my homework, thus, getting bad grades. I was shocked that I made it through the day in school without completing a single homework.

If I ever crossed path with any of them, the questions they're going to throw at me are:

“What are you doing now?”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“Are you getting married?”

Honestly, I hate to repeat the same thing to everyone I've encountered.

“I’m unemployed.”

“No, I’m don’t have a boyfriend and I’m definitely not getting married!”

Yesterday, I decided to be brave enough and pay my high school a visit once again. I drove there even though it was only a ten minutes walk from my house. I'm not going to walk under a scorching sun during the afternoon. I thought it was a perfect time to collect it because it's the SPM season and most of the teachers are probably not around.

I parked my car outside the school compound and took a deep breath. I tune in my radio attempting to ease my nerves down. As soon I thought I calmed down, I got out from my car and realised that I did not have the guts to go in. I went back to the car and relaxed again. I also realised that I did not know where the office was. It has been four years since I left the school and the office was probably relocated.

So, I said a short prayer and got out from my car with a plan. I decided to call my neighbour who is taking her SPM there, hoping that she could tell and accompany me to the office. Unfortunately, she did not pick up her phone but I saw a mother and her twelve-year-old daughter walking in the main gate, hoping that if I follow them they will lead me to the office. I followed them like a stalker and only to found out that they headed towards the canteen instead.

Nevertheless, since I'm already inside the school I might as well not chicken out and go get that bloody certificate. I remembered every corner of my school compound vividly as I walked through the trail that would lead to where the office was previously located four years ago. Everything in school seemed the same, not a single change I could spot. I climbed up the stairs and headed to the office only to found out that it 's now a Counseling Room. I glanced through the entire corridor and the word Pejabat could not been seen.

I turned back down the stairs and saw an Indian prefect walking up. Without hesitating, I asked her for directions.

“Excuse me, where’s the office?”

“Oh, you go down there and walk straight… and.. yeah all the way straight and you’ll find the new building and it’s on the first floor.”

"Thanks!"

I know where the new building was. They started building it when I was in Form 2 and it was completed when I was in Form 4. It has been abandoned ever since and I am not sure when they officially buka rasmi. I guessed now the office is relocated there.

One thing I noticed in an all girls’ school is that whenever they see a girl wearing outside clothes, they have this tendency to stare at them. Even when they are busy studying in an empty classroom or a pondok they will peek to see who had just pass by and continued studying. I actually find this kind of behavior rather amusing. But I did not care, because I'm their senior anyway.

I found the office and was greeted by a Malay clerk and inquired for my certificate.

“Saya nak kutip sijil SPM saya.”

“Tahun berapa?”

“2003”

I thought she was going to say this:

“Hah, sekarang baru nak ambil?”

But thank God she didn’t and went to look for it. When she had found it, she requested me to sign and the moment she flipped the page. My class was the first class and my name was indeed the first. Being a busy body, I glanced through my classmates names and noted that only three people including me have not collected it.

She also gave me an additional certificate, which is the GCE certificate for our 1119. As I signed for the second certificate, I noticed that our grades were printed on the book. I took this opportunity to see what the other students got for it. To my horror, most of them scored a ‘C’ ,‘D’ and 'E' for it. That includes the smart students in my school. Are Malaysian students English that bad? I scored a ‘D’ for it and I thought it was bad enough. But knowing that the prodigies in my school scored almost the same as me made me feel relieved.

I left the office with a relief but when I turned back to looked at the office I somehow felt that the fact that my certificates are still there, made half of me still part of the school. It also reminded me how much I missed school. Five years in school happened in a blink of an eye and I’d live it again with every beat of my heart even though I was a problematic student.

Wedding

2008-11-11T18:13:00.012+08:00

No, I am not getting married. Jodoh pun takde macam mane nak kahwin?

I just attended a wedding ceremony and dinner last Saturday. It was my mum's first mother's cousin's son's wedding. Get it? If you do not get it, do not worry this is what happens when you have two wives. That will make my mum's nephew's wedding actually. He is only 27 years old. His bride is probably around the same age, I guessed.

When I was young, I never understood why those ang mohs in Hollywood movies cry during weddings. I always thought that weddings are supposed to be a happy and joyous occasion. When I was a youth, I attended Gwen and Daniel's (A pastor and musician/photographer from my church) wedding ceremony and from there I understood why they cried. Tears begin to welled up in my eyes as I watched Gwen gracefully walked down the aisle towards Daniel. When it was time for Karen and Sean's (Another couple from my church) wedding, tears filled my eyes once again.

I did not take any pictures during the wedding because the couple had no idea who I was. The last time the groom saw me was during my uncle's wedding 11 years ago. I was quite surprised to found out that one of my church member who is a doctor was at the wedding ceremony. She happened to be the bride's course mate in medical school. What surprises me most is that the groom is an IT graduate married to a doctor. It actually reminded me of my ex-cell leader who is a medical student whereas her boyfriend an IT student. Coincidentally, they attended the same secondary school and college, which is Bukit Bintang Boys School and APIIT college.

The reason why I went for the wedding was because it was held at a church and my mum wanted me to meet some good church boys. Well, the mission failed of course. Because we did not have time to stick around and mingle with the people in that church. But there was only one boy I recognised, and he was one of the top five finalist in the second season of Malaysian Idol. He was the hot Indian guy. Apparently, he was the groom's best friend from school.

My mum is so kancheong, she was worried that I will never get married. Our second mission was the wedding dinner. The best strategy is to place me in the same table as a group of young single guys so that they can fight with each other to talk to me. But no, instead my mum and I were placed in a table of married middle-aged couples. My mum was supposed to bring my dad along but he could not come, hence, I replaced him.

My table consist of four lawyers, two elders of a church and all of them are the groom's church members. But I did not regret sitting with them, I actually enjoyed their company. It is always good to hear them talking about their family, neighbours and kids. Deep inside of me, I wished that God would grant me the same life as them. Being married to a successful God fearing husband, with beautiful children and a beautiful home to live in.

During the dinner they played a video on the bride and groom's childhood all the way to how they met. What was funny is that they showed a movie ticket and it was their first movie together. Coincidentally, I kept a movie ticket that I went out with a guy I used to got a crush on. And it was our first movie together. Alone. But he was blind enough to realise that I liked him and on the next following month he got a beautiful girlfriend. I need to burn that movie ticket to erase the fact that I liked him. It feels like a sin holding on to the past. But we remain as good friends now.

When the dinner ended, my aunty jokingly said "So, have you found Mr. Right yet?"

Although, our mission on finding Mr Right failed, but I am having this tendency on going church hopping to try my luck. I asked my cousin whether FGA has any cute guys? And she said no. Well, there is always DUMC and my best friend's church New Life Restoration. I might sound desperate but I will continue my mission once I get a job first. Sigh...

2008-11-07T01:38:00.005+08:00

I have been reading blogs by female bloggers lately this year and they have been truly an inspiration to me. All of them are single except for one who is engaged. It amazes me how different and unique these ladies are but they only share one thing in common which is, camwhoring. Everyday, I will visit their blogs just to check whats going on in their interesting life and they never ceased to keep me glued to my monitor screen.

They are celebrity bloggers and although not all of them are really good models but they are very open about their feelings and beliefs. They are the ones that gave me hope that being single is not bad at all. It is always a pure joy to travel all around world solo and meet new friends. They can never be settled in their comfort zone, instead they revealed the daredevil in them by doing all sorts of wacky things. Why be sober just because you are single when there is so much more to explore in the world when no men can stop you from doing it.

I am also very fortunate to meet one of them after chinese new year to help donate to an orphanage home. I wish I could be a full time blogger too but I am not ready for that kind of exposure yet. I still like being anonymous and hide in the comforts of my shell. But there is a question that will never be answered. Some of these ladies do not have a fulltime job but how in the world do they earn a living solely by blogging? Even if they have many hits in their blogs but I doubt that they will be paid the amount of RM2,000 and above.

Baby

2008-10-28T21:16:00.011+08:00

You know what's funny? I can picture myself being a mom but not someone's else wife. I kinda have a right idea on what type of mom I would be. You can actually tell by the way I treat my younger siblings and cousins.

I like junk food and I often spoil them with it every time we passed by a candy store. My future house is going to be supplied with more junk food than healthy food. You can call me a junk food addict but I am really trying to change my mindset and it starts right now. I also need to learn to cook more healthy food rather than the usual eggs, sausages, fries, ham and hashbrown that I usually cook for myself.

I also know for a fact that I will be a cool mom. Why? Because I am forever a kid at heart. I still watch Disney's shows and I never once discouraged my younger siblings and cousins from watching them. I also do not mind getting myself embarrassed by playing with them in the playground or pool, acting childishly. I believe that it really pays off being childish at times. I often chaperon my younger cousins to places like Sunway Lagoon and Genting and I allowed them to kill time by enjoying themselves as much as possible. I even booked movies tickets beforehand so that we can get a perfect spot in the cinema to watch movies.

I am also their personal computer guru, English teacher and driving instrutor. They usually run to me when they need help with their computers. I often help them in their English and correct their grammar. But what I enjoy the most is being their driving instructor. I taught my younger brother, sister and cousin to drive. Well, my cousin had her license I just allowed her to practice her driving before she gets her own car. I am amazed at the amount of respect they gave me when I can do things the cannot do yet.

Enough fun time, I realised that I am so much like my mom when it comes to discipline. When the house is messy, I will yell from the top of my lungs and start yapping away nonstop, throwing tantrums unnecessarily while trying to tidy up the house. When it comes to cleanliness, I will always wash my hands and feet once it gets dirty. I feel like an OCD, thanks to my mom. I will also make sure that the house is not stuffed with unused documents or items to avoid clogging up space in the house.

I will never allowed my sister to date or even think about boys when she is studying. Because I do not believe that they will end up with their high school sweetheart. I will do this to my future daughter as well. I only allow her to date once she is out of school. But as for a guy, I will only allow him to date when he is man enough, probably when he starts working. Come to think of it, they will probably do it behind my back. Because that was what my sister did, but I eventually found out. My parents are right, you could never hide anything behind their backs because they will eventually find out. Haha.. The joy of being a parent.

The guy I am going to marry have to be completely opposite of me. Imagine if we both have anger management problems. We will be screaming away until the neighbours have to call the police to report some domestic violence situation. Haha.. Have you ever witnessed couples like that? Scary eh? I will never marry a guy who cannot control his anger because I am like that as well. The guy have to be cool, calm and collected. If not my kids are going to be like that as well and rebel against us. Come to think of it, they will eventually rebel against us.

It has always been my dreams to be able to conceive and have a baby. Babies are God's gift to women. The smile on the baby's flawless face will brighten up my day anytime. This is one dream that I wish to fulfill before I die, if only God allowed it.

Okay, I think I better stop thinking about the future and start thinking about the present. I need a job!!! Please someone hire me already! No job, no future, no kids to look after!

Broken England!

2008-10-20T23:38:00.005+08:00

This is a notice board in the cubicle of every toilet in my ex-company. The first time I stepped foot on that company, I could not helped but laughed at the words used in the notice board. I even made a resolution that before I leave that company, I must take a picture of it and correct it.

The pink scribble are my corrections. I know that I may not be perfect myself, but I could not understand how that person was allowed to post it with poor usage of English? It is an embarrassment to the company, since it is a multi-national company with big clients like BAT (British American Tobacco). Judging from the paper and the cellophane tape, I assumed that it must have been there for more than ten years.

I wonder why no one even the HR department has commented about it. I get disturbed by broken English whenever I see it especially around the cities in Malaysia.

Sorry My Lover!

2008-10-16T18:48:00.003+08:00

I’ve been ditching Him lately in the corners of my cupboard, together with the dust. I hardly made time for Him. I barely talk to Him even when I’m free and the house was quiet. I felt like a horrible person. If there’s anyone out there in the universe who would listen to my problems and cries, it has to be Him. He is also the only One that could offer so much that the world couldn’t.

No men could ever love me like He did. He owned me and because of that I’m proud to be His. He may appear selfish at times because He wants me to love Him first. I’ll try my best to love Him and I believe that it won’t be possible to love Him because He is love and He taught me love. His love was instilled in me since the first time I knew Him.

It must’ve been heartbreaking for Him to watch me neglecting Him when He knew how much I needed Him. He knew me better than anyone else in the world, even my sister who so-called knows me better. He has been there in times of difficulties and joy. He never turn His sight away from me. He is always looking out for me. He is so much better than Superman; He doesn’t need super hearing to hear me nor fly or superspeed just to save me. He has always been there to save me if only I call.

I should ask for forgiveness and asked Him back into my life. No men will ever forgive me instantly, but Him. He’ll stretch out his arms and wait for me to run back into His loving arms. That is why it’s so easy to love Him. When I’m ill, He is the only one who knows how to look after me. He’s my personal doctor because He can outdo a doctor anytime. His words and hands are strong and powerful, he can take down any men anytime without using any force of violence. That is why he’s also my hero!

I feel stupid for ditching Him like that. Which sane human being will ditch someone so perfect like Him? And why do I’ve to go after other guys when I’m already belonged to Him? He was my best friend, confidant and lover. Without Him, my life has been empty and meaningless. I’m not going to lose Him again. I need to reconcile back with Him and make everything right again. He is definitely the only One that will stick with me for eternity.

2008-10-04T22:25:00.001+08:00

I was a lonesome
Trapped in an asylum
Waiting to breakout
From this hysteria
I awoke one day
And found you.
Your sparkling eyes,
Gazed directly into mine.
I was suddenly in an unfamiliar place
A place far from human existence
It was a world we created for ourselves.
You held my hand
And my pain, sorrows and anxieties
Suddenly vanished in an instant.
The hole in my heart
Was completely healed and filled.
It was then that I realized
What I’ve been looking for, a
Companion to be by my side.
I liked being by your side
In a world of our own,
The world we created together.
Until, you choose to leave it
And created another world
For someone twice as beautiful, wise
And humorous than me
The pain, sorrows and anxieties
Came back in twofold
Causing another hole in my heart
This time much bigger

Happy Birthday to Me!

2008-09-23T18:43:00.003+08:00

My birthday was completely unexpected this year. First, we celebrated it during College Retreat with my cell members and the campers. On Friday, my cell decided to have a joint birthday celebration between John-Aidan and I since our birthday falls on the month of September.

Right after cell, they dumped us in the car and drove us somewhere. I was dumped in John Chong’s car with Jin and Noel. John Chong assured me that we’re going somewhere nice while Jin and Noel laughed sinisterly in the background. In the car, John raised the volume of his radio to the maximum as the rest of them began boogying to the beat of Mix FM’s retro mix.

When we reached our destination, Jin and John escorted me to the place we’re supposed to gather. But unfortunately, I knew where I was because I could hear echoes of a basketball bouncing rhythmically. They took me to a park. Jin and John didn’t do a good job escorting me. I tripped so many times while trying to make out my steps. They then put me on a swing and swung me. It was really terrifying swinging blindfolded while the wind swept my face as I grip the handle of the swing tightly, afraid that I might fall.

After that, they helped me down from the swing and continued escorting me to the right destination. I tripped once again and they gave up. The next thing I knew, Jin swept me up on his back and piggybacked me. I felt like Bella Swan on Edward Cullen’s back as he ran so fast it felt as if he’s flying. But Jin was no Edward Cullen because he’s body was warm and he was panting heavily. He suddenly came to a stop and I didn’t realised that we’ve reached our destination because John was making a lot of noise in the background.

All of a sudden, I was on the ground and I could hear Jin writhing in pain. Apparently, my weight was actually hurting him when I refused to get down from his back. He’s definitely no Edward Cullen. I got up and waited till John-Aidan and the rest of them arrived. Once everyone had arrived, they took off the blindfold and a small white cake with strawberries surrounding it appeared in front of us as the cell sang the birthday song.

This was actually my first birthday surprise and I’m truly grateful for it even though my toes still has some bruises due to the tripping. Oh yeah, the surprise could be done much better if it weren’t for the sound of the basketball that gave the impression that I was in the park. Thanks cellies!

2008-09-11T17:58:00.003+08:00

I have been suffering for the last nine months in hell. Like what I have mentioned in my previous post, I feel like an innocent convict being prosecuted for something I did not intentionally do. I have been placed in a prison cell for a grueling year with other convicts. They ignored me and pretended as if I do not exist in their presence. Only a handful of them noticed me and accepted me for who I am.

It has been a struggle to go through it everyday until I finally came to a decision that I have to quit before it gets worse. God has indeed confirmed it and as a result I quitted without thinking much. But it did not end there; I still have to suffer for a month before I can pronounce myself freedom. Throughout the one month timeframe I have been given, I still felt like a convict in a prison cell, counting the days till I am set free into the world again.

Once I was set free, I felt like a huge burden that I have been carrying instantly vanished into thin air. The sharp blades on my back had suddenly shattered into shards of million pieces. Oxygen is finally making its way through my nostrils and into my lungs, fresh anew. I can finally breathe! I am going to bury the past in the grave and never to dig it up again.

When I was there, my HR Manager spoke to me in private about my bad performance. She knew that what I was doing was not who I am. She could sense that my personality does not match what I was doing. The first question that pops to her head was, “Do you like writing?” I did not see that coming and she hardly knew me, could that be of God of was my mind trying to mess with me?

It was her that encouraged me to apply for a Copywriter job. My eyes were wide opened in shock, because I am not qualified for the position at all. I am not even a Mass Communication student. I am not even close being one. I took her advice and went for it, ignoring my parent’s remarks.

I pondered and wondered whether I should have studied Mass Comm in the very beginning. The bible thought us to honour our parents, so that was what I did; I honoured my parents and went along with their plan of studying Secretarial. According to my mom, she told me that was how most women find their husbands. My mom always wanted me to marry a man who works in a managerial line, basically guys with big wallets. She did not want me to make the same mistake she did by marrying a poor man.

My mom wants me to get married soonest as possible and get settled down. But the problem is that this is the twenty first century, things changed. It was easy for my parent’s generation to find their so-called soul mate and get settle down. I do not mind being single if that is what God plans for me. Besides, I am doing fine for twenty-one years of my life without a male companion by my side. Right now, my career is more important than a guy in my life.

I have applied for numerous copywriting jobs and only one called me. It did not worked out, the interviewer spotted my first weakness the moment I opened my mouth. After that, they did not call me back for a second interview as promised. Other advertising company did not even give me a chance. Why must I choose the advertising route again? Had I suffered enough in the industry? Just a few days back, I decided to choose journalism instead. I saw an opening in The Star and gave it a shot, but nothing happened so far. I even compiled some of my written stuff that I did in the past, basically modified stuff on my blog as a back up for just in case they want to see. Nothing happened. Nada.

I visit facebook everyday and watched my friend’s life overseas having a blast in their studies and job. While I am stuck here still thinking about my future and it is not even close to achieving it. Sometimes I wonder whether I should go after my dreams or do something that can guarantee good money and yet suffer?

Only GOD can help me. I need a job by this month pronto!

Who am I to you?

2008-08-26T01:28:00.002+08:00

You don't have to spend a dime on me
when we hang out.
Who am I to you?
Your best friend or girlfriend

you don't have to show me the
Seven Wonders of the World and
Watch the sunset together.
Who am I to you?
Your best friend or girlfriend

you don't have to sacrifice your time
with your family and friends
Just to be with me.
Who am I to you?
Your best friend or girlfriend

you don't have to comfort mewith your soft soothing voice
when I'm stressed or feeling discomfort.
Who am I to you?
Your best friend or girlfriend

You don’t have to be my Superman
And save me from being scathed.
Who am I to you?
Your best friend or girlfriend

Who am I really to you?
Your best friend or girlfriend

Me a Good Samaritan?

2008-07-31T01:21:00.008+08:00

One thing I noticed is that Christians has this weakness. A weakness to help others who are in need even though we are clueless on whether or not they’re genuine or lying. We are made to help others like the Good Samaritan but even then helping others has it limits.

Yesterday, after I’ve finished my work my stomach was grumbling loudly as if it could be heard audibly. The first think that appeared to my mind was McDonalds. I craved for their chicken mcnuggets badly and that was what I bought upon reaching there. I found a seat at the lounge and sat there. The lounge looked empty and deserted as if it’s been separated from the other part of the restaurant.

I sat there quietly munching on my nuggets and fries until a man with a yellow shirt approached me. “Shit! Is he going to rob me?” I thought to myself.

“Boleh pinjam duit tak? Saya lapar nie..” was what he uttered to me with his black cheap looking wallet clutched in his hand.

I’ve thought about it and a lot of things had been running through my mind. What if he’s lying? What if he’s using the money for other purposes instead of food?

“Lima ringgit pun boleh. Cukup untuk beli burger..” he smiled.

“Tak boleh” I declined and continued my meal.

“Tolonglah, esok saya kena kerja. Saya lapar nie.” he continued pleading.

Judging by the tar deposits on his teeth and a strong scent of nicotine, what if he’s using the money to buy cigarettes instead of food? Logically, RM5 is more than enough to buy a pack of 14’s cigarettes plus 80 cents if he has coins. Unless, he’s opting for a cheaper brand then it’ll only cost RM5.30.

“Tak boleh.” I declined for the second time.

“Two ringgit pun cukup.”

I thought for a while.

“Seringgit pun boleh.”

Wait a second? Was he trying to bargain with me? It was then I realised that maybe he was genuine after all. All he did was stood a distance away from me and begged me for money with a smile plastered on his face. He showed no sign of robbing nor sexually harassing me.

“Dua ringgit boleh tak?” I accepted his bargain.

“Boleh.”

I took out my pink wallet and offered him RM2. RM2 is more than enough to feed his empty stomach if he knows what to buy. I was also hoping that he’d ask another person for money if he were planning to eat at McDonalds.

He thanked me and left and he in fact did asked other people for some money but they declined. Somehow I wondered why didn’t he beg them? Why beg me? Do I mirror a Good Samaritan for people to easily sense? I guess that question will be left unanswered.

Soon after that, a boy approached me saying that he worked for the spastic children charity and asked for a donation. He showed me his identity as proof and the only reason I looked at it was because I wanted to know how old he was. He spoke in a very broken English and this time I declined. Where was he earlier? I could’ve donated to the spastic children instead of that man. Surprisingly, he didn’t plead or beg and left.

I donated to the spastic children before so I didn’t feel bad for not donating this time. My gaze followed the guy to see who else donated but most people declined. Malaysians should learn to be more charitable instead of being selfish. This is something that most people don’t know about me. I’m actually a very charitable person. Too bad it doesn’t help in my sucky career.

Titanic

2008-07-30T00:02:00.001+08:00

I was the most beautiful thing ever created just like the Titanic. But I ruined it and just like the Titanic I’m a wreck and I'm slowly sinking and drowning into the ocean. Just like the ship, I feel like I'm carrying the world on me. Everyone placed their trust and faith in me hoping that I’ll grant them a smooth sailing in their lives.

But instead, I destroyed their lives by causing pain and trauma. Their lives felt like it’s the end of the world if they were to depend on me. I was a great help to them by reducing their burdens but even the Titanic failed to bring the people ashore. How can I possibly succeed in bringing them what they desire?

It feels like someone is pulling my leg. Or could it be that God is punishing or teaching me a lesson? What if it’s the devil that is trying to play games on me? The captain of the Titanic ship is like God; He directs our path and even though we made a mistake that caused the lives of others it doesn’t mean that He failed us. I guess we can’t let one huge mistake bring us down because there’s so much to life and it’s definitely not the end of the world.

My Precious

2008-07-23T00:23:00.003+08:00

I'm planning on transfering most of my writings here from my old blog. Here's the first so-called poem I wrote a year ago. Most guys could relate to this actually.

My Precious

My precious sits besides me every night
without a sound, to disturb my silent night

My precious accompanies me to work
making me look good in front of everyone
and brings out the best in me

My precious became the envy of others
Because of the great talent she possess
with our souls conjoin together
Sparks and magic begins to fill the ambience

My precious understands me
Comforting me when I'm depress
allowing me to roam her silky body
Creating sounds of comfort to my ears

My precious is always beautiful
with no flaws and blemishes
Nice and warm to embrace

My precious is now gone
Damage and broken apart
She is no longer beautiful
nor could create sounds of comfort

My precious is dead
but in my heart
I will always have a place
for my precious guitar

Convicted

2008-07-15T01:01:00.002+08:00

I feel like a convict going through prosecution for a crime I did not intentionally do. It was a mistake, a huge mistake. I should not have done it, but I was left with no choice. Who would have thought an innocent person like me would do such things, things that do not pleases God.

I lay at my prison cell alone, staring at the wall that has been scribbled by previous convicts. Counting the days I have to be prosecuted, I prayed and repent hoping that He will forgive me. I hate being in prison; it is the second worst place next to hell. I could feel that I am one step closer to the fiery lake.

A sneer was what I got from other convicts as their presence entrapped me. I felt like I was drowning in the Pacific Ocean where there was no reach of human contact. These convicts are not humans but rather the devil’s children.

I do not understand how He could love me yet the world despises me? I just wish I could feel Him like how I feel air. I wish I could feel His warmth embrace like how the heat from the sun kept me warm.

“O, Lord, help me!!”

Lost and Found

2008-07-11T00:04:00.000+08:00

You are precious to me
Like a diamond necklace
Close to my heart
It was lovely
Having You around
Until I lost You.
You vanished one day
Without a proper goodbye
I felt like I just lost
Something so precious,
So valuable and so rare
There’s no one like You.
I cried every night
Thinking about You
Wondering how You were
Or what You are doing.
Like a diamond
I know that You are strong
And You can break any obstacles
That comes Your way.
But with God’s perfect timing
I found You
Alive and well
You are still the same
Solid and strong person
That I once knew.

Anything or Whatever

2008-07-01T22:39:00.006+08:00

I'm currently slurping to a new can drink called 'Anything'. I'm happy that it actually made it to Malaysia.

Here are some ads that I find amusing for your pleasure!

Whatever

Anything

2008-06-17T00:21:00.002+08:00

This poem is dedicated to all the emo guys in the world out there. It was actually inspired by reading their blogs. This poem is about a girl trying to save a guy from all his problems. This poem is purely fictional and I still couldn’t think of a title for it yet.

The mirror does not
Speaks the truth
It only contradicts.
Quit believing its lies
It only deceives.

A mirror is a form of
Crystallize sand from
A sandy beach
It has no significant
Meaning or whatsoever
Stop hurting yourself with it!

You are already perfect to me
Your flaws made you human.
It is okay to cry
We are made to cry
Despite of our gender

I am glad you found
Comfort in God
But do remember,
That you still have me
To run to when you
Need a hug or
A shoulder to cry on

There is always hope
When the world despise you
Or turn their backs upon you.
No matter what you have become
I will never despise you
Nor turn my back against you.

I will stand closely beside you
When the world come
Crushing down on you.
I will hold your hand tightly
Making sure you feel secure.

Every men needs a woman
To be their heroine
And I want to be that woman
That can save you from
Your miseries and anxieties

I want to turn
Your sorrows into joy
I want to be your painkiller
And relieve the pain.
I want to be the last piece
Of your missing heart

I could be all
You want me to be
If only you give me a chance
One chance, to be your savior

My Hat Yai Trip - 6/6/08 - 9/6/08 (Part 1)

2008-06-16T00:17:00.004+08:00

It's been months of labouring that I've finally found time to go on a holiday. It started out with my older brother who wanted to go to Singapore. I got excited because I recently did my passport and I've been dying to use it to travel out of the country even if it's my neighbouring country.

After much thought about it among my brother and parents, my brother couldn't make it because his cell member is getting married. My dad on the other end didn't felt like going either. I don't know what went wrong with my mum but she started being the coolest mum in the world and decided to go with me with or without the men.

It's my debut out of the country and I'm not gonna miss it for the world. I got excited like a little girl. But plans went astray went my dad told us that he wanted to go to Hat Yai, Thailand instead. What’s worst is that we're boarding a 7-hour bus ride there instead of flying. I remember whining a lot when my parents drove to Penang and this is worst than that.

Surprisingly, I didn't care at all because as long as I get to step foot on a foreign land I'm pleased. And off to Hat Yai I went with my parents. How often does a busy 21-year-old get to spend some real quality time with their parents? I didn't even care if my parents embarrassed me in public at all which they did but as long I'm enjoying myself I'm glad.

We hopped onto the bus at 10.30 pm and left for a 7 hours journey to Hat Yai. I found it hard to sleep in the bus because I'm not used to sleeping in a moving vehicle but thank God I managed to get some shuteye. Newspaper articles on bus accidents were running through my mind but my spiritual mom had prayed for a safe journey and I need not worry anymore of such thoughts.

There's nothing special about Hat Yai but many Malaysians come here because it's closer to the border and it’s cheaper. When I first stepped foot onto Hat Yai it reminded me of Malaysia the only difference is their language and mannerism.

Hat Yai. Picture taken from www.virtualtourist.com

There's also no diversity in languages because despite the different races there they only speak Thai. In Malaysia, you'll find the Malays speaking Malay, Chinese speaking Mandarin/Cantonese/Hokkien and the Indians Tamil. Only people who don't know their mother tongue like me speaks English. Wouldn't it be cool if there's no diversity in languages and everyone would just speak Malay our national language?

With the huge amount of Malaysian tourist visiting Thailand, they even have signboards and instructions printed out in Malay translation. It feels close to home. They even sold our local candies and snacks such as Mister Potato, Apollo, Haw Flakes and etc. There’s also a vast majority of Thai Malay’s there which made it easier to communicate with them in Malay.

Picture taken from www.travel.robertosblogs.net

You’ll never find Malaysian cars parading the streets of Hat Yai, they only drive Japanese cars which cost so much cheaper compared to Malaysia. Motorcycles are another common means of transportation for them because it’s convenient and you’ll find most teenage girls ride them to the market, school and etc. As for public transportation, the most common one is none other than the Tuk Tuk, which you can only find in certain parts of South-East Asia.

Picture taken from www.travelblog.org

2008-06-12T00:50:00.003+08:00

Petrol sudah naik! Geramnya, dahlah takde duit nak maintain kereta. Nasib baik kerajaan bagi rebate untuk orang yang bayar cukai sebelum 1st April. Kalau tidak, mampuslah aku!!

Actually, this is not what I'm intended to blog about. Be patient my fellow readers..

2008-06-04T11:08:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to blog about something but the Internet connection in my house is too slow, hence, I can’t blog what I wanted to. But the good news is I’ve got something special to blog about next week. Just be patient okay?

A Child’s Prayer

2008-05-29T18:50:00.001+08:00

Wipe my tears away
That has been hurt by the world.
The world You created.

Whisper words of comfort
To my ears so I could feel
A warmth sense of security

Tuck me to bed
So that I could
Rest peacefully in You.

Hold my hand tightly
And guide each step I take
So that I may know
You'll always there for me

Cradle me in
Your warmth embrace
So that You may
Protect me from
The wickedness of the world

Caress my cheek
And remind me
How beautiful I am
Because You created me
Your perfect child.

Chinese Violinist in KL Sentral

2008-05-07T01:06:00.002+08:00

I hate to wake up every morning just thinking that I need to go to work. It is more of going to hell than work actually. But something besides God literally brightens up my day whilst taking a long journey to hell (work). Upon making my stop at KL Sentral, I walked past a stinking flea market, which I swore have a drunken man’s vomit stain and remains of dead animals on the pathway. But something beautiful and melodious at the end of the pathway erased my mind from all negativity and impurities.

An old man sat at the corner of the pathway, playing his Chinese violin melodiously accompanied by a background music blasting through his antique amplifier. Many passerby’s stopped just to watch him play and some generous souls filled his violin case with cash. His music is so soothing and relaxing that it could make a soul forget their problems and miseries in an instant. He even put up a sign that said something like this:

“Saya harap muzik saya membuat anda gembira dan aman”

I wish I owned a camera phone and snap a picture of it. It is even better if I took a video of it because he is the only street musician that really touches my heart. I was never impressed with blind street musicians but this guy is neither blind nor have any disabilities. He just wanted to slow down the momentum of the bustling city of Kuala Lumpur through his humble music.

After being a spectator and a listener for quite some time, today I decided to toss a buck into his violin case. I know that it is not much but it is better than nothing. I usually donate to charities but today was the first time that I voluntarily gave a portion of my allowance to a street musician. A well-deserved street musician I must say and I hope that whatever he does with the money will be for good. Most beggars are fakers and they use the money to buy beer or drugs but I hope that this guy is not one of them because I believed that he has a genuine heart.

My Humble Malaysian Dreamgirl Review

2008-05-01T16:29:00.015+08:00

I’ve been following the show since it started hence even thought of auditioning it. I changed my mind because I needed my sister to accompany me. I don’t want to be left alone with other hot Malaysian girls fighting for the same thing. I was actually surprised with the girls that the judges picked. It makes me feel like I can do better than them. I’m not trying to boast or anything but it’s true. Half of the girls looked plain and bland, even my friends looked a hundred times better than them.

I hope I’m not too late to write a review on the show, but I’ll give it a try since I’ve not written anything about it since day one. Let me start with the judges.

Kenny Sia

I love him. I really do but why as the judge for a modeling show? I understand that they wanted an average Joe but I’m sorry to say that he is not the right person. He talks nothing but rubbish while judging and offended some of the girls. All he looks for in a girl is looks and how short their skirts are. It annoyed even fellow judge Elaine Daly. The right person would be my younger brother, he has better taste in a girl’s appearance and he can give a better constructive critism.

Elaine Daly

I don’t understand what’s the fuss about her being the judge. So what if she’s Miss Malaysia of whatsoever but she has a lot of experience in this field and she knows what’s she doing. I also agree with her judging in Malaysian Dreamgirl. She’s actually quite nice, I met her four years ago during Malaysian Idol finals. She stood alone in the cold somewhere outside Genting Highlands waiting for someone and no one seems to recognize her but me. Without hesitating, I said smiled and said hi to her only to received a hi and a smile back. She could’ve just ignored me but I was surprised that she responded to me and that proves that she’s actually nice unlike some celebrities.

Jimmy Lim

Since I’m not very keen in the fashion industry, so it’s no surprise that I don’t know who he is. But he gave one of the best advices to the girls on how to dress and bring themselves out. The girls seem to be learning a lot from him and enjoyed his presence while doing a photo shoot. Gay guys are one of the nicest and most intelligent guys you’ll ever meet. Trust me; don’t ever judge them because I’ve met some of them before in my work and all.

Since it’s the finals now. I shall only talk about the three finalists.

Adeline

She appeared very soft-spoken during the audition but she talks more now than before after being in the bottom three for two consecutive weeks. Most people commented her on being too La-la-lish. But I chose to differ, I imagine a typical La-la girl to be 4’11, dressed something like this.

Photo grab from darrylsien.blogspot.com

Not a 5’7 girl who dresses well like this.

Just because of her poor proficiency in English, it doesn’t make her La-la. It seems like I’m the only one who likes her because she reminded me of my Chinese educated friends in school and they’re one of the nicest people you’ll meet. Plus, she gets along with all of the girls. By the way, I enjoyed Jay’s imitation of her. So classic! She could do well in the modeling agency if she buck-up on her English skills and facial expressions.

Cindy

The mighty bitch of the house! I like her during the audition because she was very out-spoken and confident. But her constant bitchiness slowly brought me to despise her and her daddy is the one that makes her more entertaining to watch. But I’ve got to admit that without her the show will be boring and we need someone like her to cause more drama to the show.

But on the other hand, I don’t think that she’s a model material. Kudos to Jay’s imitation of her as well! She’s more of an actress instead and I can foresee her future in doing numerous TV dramas or comedy be it in Chinese, English or Malay. From what I’ve seen she has the ability to transform herself into different various characters that led people thinking she’s fake. I don’t care about her fake Australian accent anyway, it doesn’t bother me than it used to anymore.

Hanis

Calling her Hanis the manis or Datin is overrated already. But despite being one of the youngest contestants, she stood out better than some of the older girls. I wasn’t a fan of her at first but she begin too grow in me now. She just gets better and better each week and I was impressed by her catwalk performance during the MIFA. MIFA is a huge runway event in Malaysia and all the big people are there but despite it all she sail through it smoothly and if I were her mom I’ll be in tears. I mean my innocent baby has now transformed herself into a super model! She’s not a super model yet, but she will be if continue to be consistent and keep improving than she’ll be one day.

Most people have been commenting on her lack of speaking English in the beginning few episodes. At first, I thought that the contestants are supposed to converse in English but I was not bothered by it all because she seems comfortable speaking in her mother tongue. When she started to speak English more frequently in the later episodes, she reminded me of the Malay majority here who sound like that. As most people have commented, she speaks moderately and isn’t this show called Malaysian Dreamgirl? We want a purely Malaysian girl to represent us not some Eurasian girl who speaks in an American accent.

Out of all the three finalists, it’s obvious that I want Hanis to win. She’s still young and there’s more of her to come in the future. Even the professional recognize the potential in her. All the best to the three finalists!!

Time For a Change

2008-04-29T00:09:00.003+08:00

I've changed my blog because there are certain people whom I’m not comfortable sharing my blog with. Hopefully, they won’t find out about this one.

Besides, it's about time I switched to using Blogger because Xanga seems old fashioned and not many people has heard of it. If you haven't noticed I had this blog two years ago but never really use it till now.

Brenda Song in Malaysia

2006-11-05T00:32:00.000+08:00

Kuala Lumpur: I arrived at Berjaya Times Square at approximately one o’clock to meet up with a Disney Channel star, Brenda Song. Brenda Song is better known as London Tipton from ‘The Suite Life of Zack and Cody’ and also her latest Disney Channel Original Movie ‘Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior’. She will be here to promote her latest Disney Channel Original Movie ‘Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior’.

The main entrance was occupied with children from all ages together with their parents to catch Brenda Song live in action. For about one hour, the children and parents have waited patiently for it to start. I could feel the adrenaline running through my nerves system as I waited for Brenda, because I’m a huge fan of her work since I was young.

The set

While waiting, some kids and parents began snapping pictures of the set; some were watching advertisements of Brenda Song’s latest movie at the corner of the set but most of them couldn’t stop uttering the name Brenda Song.

After the long hours of waiting, the host came out and introduced to us a tough group of well- built men to performed a Malaysian martial arts called Silat. The Silat was marvelous; the crowd cheered as they performed some difficult stunts. After the Silat performance, Brenda Song appeared and greeted the crowd. The crowd went wild and cheered hysterically at Brenda’s sudden appearance. Later the host asked Brenda to show some of her moves from her new movie, which includes the snake, tiger and dragon.

The Silat performance

Brenda showing one of her moves in the movie

Subsequently to that, they had some cool games for the kids to play and win some prizes courtesy of Disney Channel. Finally it is time for an autograph session, unfortunately the authorities had to cut the line short due to lack of time. Overall, it was a great and memorable day for the children in Malaysia bringing home an autograph poster of Brenda Song.

Brenda's autograph session

Keranamu Malaysia

2006-10-21T22:54:00.000+08:00

I wrote this sajak when I was in form 4 for a sajak competition. But unfortunately, I send it late and my teacher didn't want to accept it. This was the first sajak that I've written and it was meant for the Merdeka celebration.

Malaysia negaraku yang ku cintai
Telah banyak masa dan tenaga digunakan
Demi berjuang untuk Negara

Kereta berjenama Negara
Megah menyusur di jalan raya
Anak-anak masa kini
Sudah pandai menghargainya

Gunung Everest telah ku tawan
Melayar ke seluruh dunia telah ku capai
Pelbagai acara sukan telah ku berjaya
Dengan penuh semangat yang “Malaysia Boleh”!

Di tempat pendidikan
Telah ku pelajari, untuk cinta kepada Negara
Ku pelajari juga, untuk hormat kepada Raja dan Negara
Semua ini untuk mengajar anak muda
Untuk mempunyai sikap yang bermoral

Semua ini dilakukan tanpa rintangan
Dan akhir sekali semua ini berjaya....KERANAMU MALAYSIA

Aku Cintakan Mu!

2006-09-30T02:54:00.000+08:00

Aku rasa aku mencintai mu
Tetapi aku rasa segan untuk meluahkanya
Tetapi di sebaliknya kau tidak mencintai aku

Aku ingat kau mencintai aku selama ini
Tetapi tidak, kenapa kau tidak mencintai aku?
Adakah aku tidak cantik bagi mu
Atau aku bukan seseorang yang engkau impikan
Atau.. aku tidak cukup bijak bagi mu

Berilah penjelasan yang munasabah?
Tetapi bagi aku kalaulah segala-galanya
Dan aku tidak akan melepaskanya..
Walaupun kita tidak setanding
Akhirnya aku hendak memberitahu mu
Bahawa aku cintakan mu!