It's been a long time since I've blog.

So much has happened in my life in a short span of time.

To cut the long story short, let's just say that I've been a very bad.. bad girl.

Sometimes when I stared at the reflection in the mirror. I couldn't believe that the girl in the reflection was me.

My bestfriend said that I've changed in a bad way. Another friend said that I've changed for good.

Sometimes I wonder, am I a child of God? Or the devil's child?

I don't blame my job for ruining me. It can be avoided.

I guessed this will be a lesson learnt.

Why am I doing something that I was against?

Achievers Nite

It's been a long time since I dolled myself up for an occasion until two Saturdays ago. When I meant doll myself up, I meant fully accessorize myself. I even got a haircut and styled it, you can check it out at my facebook. Sorry, I do like posting pictures on my blog.

It was my company's annual dinner slash achievers nite. It felt like the Golden Globes Awards where there's an award show going on while dinner was served. My mom drove her white wira to Summit Hotel as early as 6.00pm at the footstep of the hotel. I spotted a group of people wearing the colour purple, green and blue and realised that it was my colleagues from different branches in Malaysia.

The entire setting looked as if it were a set of a red carpet scene. The only thing that was missing was screaming fans, photographers and paparazzis. As I walked in the hotel lobby, one of my colleague recognised me and called me a "Bizzy Body Ambassador". It was a campaign that we've been doing during that time. It was no surprise that everyone of my colleagues looked like movie stars either.

We gathered at the lobby and took plenty pictures before proceeding to the ballroom where the award show and dinner was served. The event started by awarding the newly promoted managers and owners. To my delight dinner was served after that and as usual it was a seven course dinner. I usually eat a seven course dinner during weddings and it wasn't surprising that most of my Malay colleagues are not familiar with using chopsticks.

While most of my colleagues were busy munching on their food the awards kept going and lucky draws were also given out. Too bad my luck wasn't good. They also had lots of games to keep us entertain and one of my favourite game was guessing the theme song for movies and tv shows. Too bad I didn't participate.

My favourite part was the dancing session. They hired local club singers singing retro songs and thank god I'm a loyal listener of Mix FM. Never in my life I've danced in public with a group of people. I'm amazed at the amount of talented dancers in my company and they even taught me a move or two. They probably practiced a lot during clubbing unlike me. But on that night itself I've discovered a new talent in me. I can now boogie!

They end it with a last round of lucky draw and a new year countdown. I had a lot of fun and the pictures can be found at my facebook.

Kuantan & Work

My trip to Kuantan was a real eye-opener. I signed up for a road trip to Kuantan for work, hoping to gain some experience and on top of that, it was my first time to Kuantan. Kuantan is a crockcroach infested and ulu town! The hotel that I lived in for the first two nights were infested with crockcroaches and my colleague and I screamed our lungs out when we saw the crockroaches. On the second day, 7 crockroaches invaded our room and I got a guy colleague of mine who was still in his half-naked mode to kill all the crockroaches including an albino crockroach.

We switched hotels the next following morning to a cheap and old hotel. But, it was located at a red zone area, meaning it is where all the hookers appear at night. One thing I realised about Kuantan or anywhere in East-Coast of Malaysia is that they do not speak English. So, I ended up speaking Malay and my cacat Cantonese. The only people that I spoke English with are my colleagues. We came in a team of six people and my leader is a Filipino and I ended up being her personal translator.

In Kuantan the public transport is worst compared to KL. It is very rare to get a cab and even if you did they never used a metre and they will charge you for a price of RM10.00. There are plenty of buses but you have to wait for hours for the bus to arrive. At night, after giving up waiting for the bus we walked back to our hotel for more than one kilometre. Thank God for the beautiful weather at night, the cool breeze was so soothing that it did not tire us down while walking. It is times like this that we should appreciate the public transports in KL. The one mistake we made was that we should have drove to Kuantan instead of boarding a bus. On the bright side, I know Kuantan quite well now thanks to all the walking I did from one street to another.

I am proud to say that KL has one of the most happening nightlife in Malaysia. I do not club but I know that Bangsar is the most happening place to hang out and club. In Kuantan they only have bars and pubs playing dangdut songs. In Chow Kit KL, the have better choices of hookers but in Kuantan the hookers were all Malays ranging from young to old. That was my first encountered with a hooker up close and personal and they were all really friendly and down to earth. My colleagues and I managed to drop our cards to them at night when we had a slow day. It was also my first time watching how a guy picks up a girl and brings her to a room. Later on I saw the girl holding RM20.00 bucks in her hand and realised that it was too cheap. I bet they charged more in KL. Haha.. I have to be extra careful while walking back to my hotel at night for fear that I might be mistaken as one of them since I lived in their area.

You must be wondering what work do I do at Kuantan. Well, I basically do the exact thing as I did in KL. Selling RM29.90 and RM25.00 cards, the only difference is that I am promoting their local brands. My team leader will allocate each one of us to a designated area in Kuantan to do our pitching. It was one of the most weird but yet interesting experience I ever had. One of my manager in KL even gave me a goal that if I can sell the cards within a certain amount he will promote me to become a leader. But unfortunately, I did not meet my goal but I have learned a lot from that experience and I am now applying it back in KL.

This job is not entirely my dream job but I dare say that I enjoy it. The fact that I can travel and be an instant manager stirs up my interest in this job. I can also feel the passion burning inside of me when I do this job. I certainly did not made a mistake when I applied for this job and I will keep on pushing myself until I succeed. My long term goal was to be successful before the age of 30. I will try to garner and learned as much I could before I make it. God bless me!

Goodbye 2008. Hello 2009

Last year was the most challenging year of my life.

I got heartbroken TWICE

I almost lost my job

I quit my job

And I've been unemployed for three months

Last year was the year of empowerment in my church and this was what I asked God for and hope to achieve.

Year of Empowerment

1) To have a transition in my job. Seriously, I’m not going to do administrative work for the rest of my life. I was hoping for a tiny promotion and move on to an executive or coordinator level but I’ll wait and see. I’ve been working damn hard for this bloody company for two years and something good have to come.

2) To travel to Canada for my personal Lex Luthor who is also my cousin’s graduation. Despite living in a different time zone, he’s been there for me listening to all my struggles and giving me some encouragement. You should have seen us when we’re young we’re like twins and we’re inseparable. Hence our birthdays are two days apart.

3) To have the courage to share the gospel. If you noticed, I’ve been selfish lately trying to meet my personal needs. But what about God’s? I pray that someone would bring up the topic about God and life and share with them.

4) To seek and pray to God more often. The reason why my prayers were never answered was probably because I was too lazy to seek Him, especially His word. I really want Him to speak to me and tell me where my life is heading instead of thinking I was useless and hopeless. He said that we’re not a mistake. So, I’ll wait and see how He works in my life throughout the year 2008.

The ones I crossed are the ones that I've achieved and God has answered.

1) Although, I didn't get a promotion in my previous job but I believe I resign with a good reason and purpose. Despite being unemployed for three months I finally found a job at the very last minute and everything has been well with the new job so far. Who would've thought that Abigail Russel can do sales and marketing? Not to forget that I'm not a degree holder.

2) The problem was because I didn't save enough money to travel to the other side of the world. I even told my online friends that I'll be dropping by to visit them. But God has been wonderful, he continued blessing me and last year was my first time stepping out of the border of Malaysia to Thailand. I went for a four days trip to Hatyai, Thailand.

3) Coincidentally, my church had a Spiritual Parenting seminar on how to share the gospel to pre-believers and during our Love Is In The Air Christmas Party I managed to share the gospel (SALTING) with a guest. I'm glad I get to share the gospel to someone before the year ended.

4) I prayed like I've never prayed before and I read the Bible for once. One night I actually laid a Bible a novel side by side and wondered which book to read first. If you're wondering the novel was one of the popular Twilight series. Evidently, I chose the Bible.

To the two guys that broke my heart which I doubt they knew the existence of my blog, I wish you all the best in your future and thanks for being the inspiration of my poems.

As for this year, here's what I hope to achieve and for God to answer.

Year of Positioning

1) To be able to control my anger which resolves all my swearing.

2) To excel in my current job and earn more $$$ so that I could afford to pay my bills and expenditures.

3) This one is a bit tricky. I told the boys in cell that I wanted to find a husband this year and one of them said "Who wants to get married at the age of 23? People usually get married at 27." What I meant was that I want to find a guy that will ultimately be my future husband. I don't want an off and on relationship like most youngsters seems to be doing nowadays.

4) If I've been greatly blessed with more $$$, I'll try to pursue a degree.

5) Try to share the gospel to more people this year. Including my friends.

I strongly believe that all five will be achieve by the end of the year. Especially the third one.

BLESSED NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

Thankful

I have been bumming around for three months without a job and the thought of not having money in my pocket let alone in my bank sucks! I always told myself that if I ever get a chance to be free I would try something new and I managed to try and learn something new. I attempted to improve my cooking skills but there was once where I almost burned my kitchen. I also self taught myself how to play the guitar. No thanks to the boys in my cell and the men in my house. If I'm not mistaken I roughly know eight chords.

But being stranded at home makes me lazy as I often wake up late. It is also affecting my health. I have been having the longest headache and migraine which is probably caused by irregular sleeping pattern and lack of exercise. I realised that doing house chores is not enough exercise if you get what I mean.

Having too much time also gives me the oppurtunity to hang out with my friends but it sucks when I am broke. The fact that I am broke hinders me from meeting them often and my mom always quote this from the bible "if you don't work; you don't eat." That word became a reality when I am unemployed.

I never regretted resigning from my previous job because I knew that it was not my calling. I knew that something out there was meant for me, something I am capable of doing. So I went on a quest to search for it. I have failed many times but I kept on searching. There was a time where I felt like giving up but I pressed on.

I have tried everything from a copywriter, journalist, retailer, secretary, admin assistant and advertising executive. But lo and behold out of the six type of career paths I have tried I ended up as an advertising executive. I went for two consecutive interviews for it and aced it! I did not know why I deserve it because I was less qualified for this job compared to the other jobs which I have applied. I will post the two interviews in my next post.

Nevertheless, I should be thankful and all glory goes to God!!!

Lonely

I realised that I do not enjoy being in a company of friends. Having too many friends is quite a stress. Even with friends, I do feel lonely. Probably it is because I do not live the life that they lived. From the day I was born, I always liked being alone and shy away from the world. It is where I find my place of solitude. I think too much and had a wild imagination. I never hated that life I was in.

Now that I have multitude of friends, everything has changed. Friends can be a pain if you know what I mean. Gossips, quarrels, back stabbers, slanders and so much more. I hate being caught up between two friends who asked me to pick a side. Let me be clear, I never chose a side and I am always neutral. Maybe that was why most people gave me some kind of level of respect. I am known as a very nice and kind person to most people, but I hated the fact that they used me and once I helped them they pushed me aside as if I am some kind of toy to them.

The only friends that I managed to keep in touch with since the day I first met them, are like treasures to me and I will always keep them. It is because I am neutral, I get the opportunity to see a different side of each individual. I know for a fact that most girls are the best actress in the world. The can appear so innocent to certain people and yet bitchy behind their backs. Seriously, and most guys tend to fall for girls like that. Because I am so neutral that even if I liked a friend's boyfriend they do not even realised it, it is either I am one heck of a good actress or they are really blind.

I admit I can be a two-faced person at times but at least I do not gossip or slander about a person. This is the reason why I liked being alone in my own solitude. I like being stranded in an island of my own where there is only God and I. It is as if I was born for this life that God has prepared for me since the day I was born. So, if you ever spot me being alone and emo do not interject my peace. I like the way it is.